


loving you is a losing game

by polarislex



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Baseball, Heartbreak, M/M, Open Ending, Temptation, affair, again this deals with cheating / being cheated on, baseball player yifan, being caught up in lies, being the 'other person', college student junmyeon, if you are uncomfortable with that please do not read, junmyeon just wants love okay, kinda a letting it out fic, mentions of cheating, not quite a happy ending, this is passed on my previous experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27662713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polarislex/pseuds/polarislex
Summary: Junmyeon felt like he was born from the galaxies the way Yifan looked at him...he should have known better to fall into its unknown depths.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20
Collections: Challenge #10 — Surprise Surprise





	loving you is a losing game

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Tiny Sparks Round 10- Surprise Surprise, the random word generator challenge! The 3 random words generated to prompt this fic were 'Baseball', 'affair', and 'facade'.  
> Thank you mods for yet another amazing round! 
> 
> Playlist:  
> what's wrong - PVRIS  
> you broke me first - tate mcrae  
> chasing parties - sasha sloan  
> dancing with tears in my eyes - kesha

If there was one thing Junmyeon could say with certainty, it was _this_ wasn’t supposed to go as far as it did. It wasn’t supposed to have happened in the first place – he knew his place, and, _fuck_ , he just _knew_ better. His mother, no doubt, rolling over in her grave watching her son follow his father's footsteps, albeit a slightly different path.

He may not be the cheater, but he was still the _other guy._ The one that captures a married man’s attention; the reason that man went home late to his wife; the reason their relationship started to grow strained as they drifted; the creation of a separate bank account, allowing for splurges whenever he desired.

 _The reason Wu Yifan, better known as Kris Wu, one of the Boston Red Sox’s greatest pitchers was currently taking a hiatus as this affair literally blew headlines across the world._

Junmyeon wasn’t anyone special – just a broke college student attempting to make rent by excessively working at one of the local cafes back in Boston. He was lucky enough to have befriended the owner back in his freshman year, having stumbled upon the café one rain-stricken night, and a few weeks later offered the boy from Seoul a job and way of making at least some money.

Yet, the way Yifan looked at him… the raven-haired boy couldn’t deny it made him feel like the galaxy above. Ironically enough, Junmyeon didn’t know who the baseball player was at first: After all, it had been just before the peak of the older career, having been made starter while their main pitcher was off due to a rotator cuff injury. But further, sports were never an interest to the younger; rather spending his nights curled up with a good drama or skyping his friends and family back home.

It started out with the odd visit every couple of weeks to a sudden stop every morning before the shop's morning rush hit. The change from waiting for his order to having it prepared before the giant could step foot into the shop, Junmyeon knowing to add extra scones and a few americanos on Thursdays for his friends (soon to be realized his teammates). Casual smiles turned to flirtatious winks, and simple talks were traded for suggestive teasing and innuendos.

Their first kiss was three months into this. The first time they had sex followed a few weeks after, finding themselves at the same club one night and hooking up in the bathroom stall like a bunch of teenagers. Junmyeon didn’t even _know_ the six-year age gap between them but knew for certain that he was head over heels for the six-foot, lanky giant with hair as dark as a winter night but eyes that held the world in their chocolate swirl.

_“Hyung, do you even know the guy?”_

_“No, but…I can’t deny what I feel in my gut, Sehunnie. There’s something special about him – there’s something about the way he just makes me feel.”_

_“I know just…”_

_“What?”_

_“Be careful, big bro. I don’t want this all to be some sort of façade, and you to be the one left broken when it's unravelled.”_

Junmyeon should have taken his younger brother's warning more seriously. Hell, he should have noticed the corners fraying and the stories that didn’t always line up. He should have questioned why Yifan always wanted their relationship (or, whatever it was) to be kept a secret; why dinner dates, or dates in general, were only to ever occur at the younger’s tiny ass apartment. There should have been _some_ fleet of wonder to gifts; the money; the _sex_.

He wanted to laugh. To scream. To cry.

Love was foolish, stupid even. It would make you believe _anything_ , and only because you never thought it couldn’t be true. That soft i-love-you; the kisses under the blankets; the way their touch felt so electrifying that it was near addicting and left you wanting more? You’d ignore all the potential warning signs and do so until it was too late.

_Breaking News: Boston Red Soxs lead pitcher, Kris Wu, spotted at the airport days after news broke of his secret love affair. Sources state it had been going on for years, but the identity of his lover still remains a mystery. An attempt to protect him, perhaps. All we know is his partner was a student at Boston University and that of the other gender. How scandalizing!_

Junmyeon knew his identity would be safe, but only because his father’s legal teams threatened the Wu’s legal team majorly if anything got out. He also knew there was quite a heavy payout on both sides, and hence the reason he was sitting here now, just barely protected by the storm raging by this small bus stop. Pulled from university, set to transfer back to one in Seoul to finish his law degree and start working for his father’s firm.

His freedom stripped. His heart shattered. His soul destroyed.

Never did he think he was supposed to be the one left behind; never did he think answering Yifan's phone one night was going to _destroy_ his life. It was exactly like his brother warned – this façade of a happy relationship would be ripped right out from under him.

Both of them lead a double life; Yifan to his wife, his teammates, his family. Junmyeon to his own family and friends.

The worst part about it all? Pushing aside the numbness – pushing aside the tears that were non-stop at this point, his cries hushed under the downpour?

He still loved Yifan. He shouldn’t. Fuck, he shouldn’t after what he just put the young man through. Yet, there was still a part of him that did. A part of him that _blamed_ himself for this mess, even if the blame shouldn’t solely be on him.

_He knew it was so wrong but he was so far gone for the man that tore his heart to shreds._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I know this doesn't deal with direct interactions between Junmyeon and Yifan, but that was the point: I wanted to try and capture the confusion - the pain created when its made known you were nothing more but the other person. I've been in these shoes, and I know its pain.   
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/polarisbyun_)  
> just as you can come and ask me anything here [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/polarisbyun_)  
> If you did like, please leave a comment and kudo🥺


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